My name is Michael McTims, or McTimothy for long.
I don’t mind jogging, I love walking, and running is great too (especially away from inner demons that otherwise sneak out via passive-aggressive behavior towards my parents) but standing, well it just sucks. If you’re standing it means you’re waiting, and in the days of broadband internet there’s just no place for that.
So I sit.
Everything is better when sitting. Why do you think it’s so much easier to hit on girls during class than standing at a bar? Have you ever tried to type on a keyboard while standing up? Its harder than the statue of David’s wiener. What about eating? I’d rather be dropped on my head than eat standing up.
Life is about moving forward, but if you’re gonna be sedentary you should at least be comfortable.
As a young child I purposefully didn’t stand up until much later than most children. This was partly because I didn’t want to risk having to eat or wipe all by myself like some sort of pathetic sap, but mostly because I just loved sitting.
At the generous age of four I rose for the first time but went quickly into a light jog as to avoid having to stand around. I didn’t stand idle until the summer of my ninth year as I reached high into a shelf for a book on renaissance art I figured might have some nudity in it.
It totally did.
This site is centered around sitting down, things that amuse me, and most importantly people, places, and cultures I know nothing about and therefore fear.
Lastly, I know what you’re thinking and yes, I always look into the toilet bowl after I poop.